January 18, 2024

October 3, 2023

  • What are the really small things that tell a lot about a person's psychology and personality?

    1. Eye Contact: Maintaining eye contact suggests confidence, while avoiding it may indicate self-consciousness or shyness.
    2. Treatment of Service Workers: Observing how they treat strangers, especially service workers, offers insights into their empathy and consideration.
    3. Commitment Keeping: Pay attention to their punctuality and how they handle commitments. Consistency and respect for others' time speak volumes.
    4. Response to Losing: How they react to losses reveals their true character. Sore losers may display negativity, while gracious losers show maturity.
    5. Fashion Choices: Their clothing style reflects aspects of their personality, with well-dressed individuals often seen as ambitious.
    6. Body Language: Evaluate whether they appear open and welcoming or closed-off, as body language communicates unspoken messages.
    7. Communication Style: Fast talkers may seem eager, while slow talkers often come across as intellectual.
    8. Initiative: Taking the initiative in various situations, like a first date or a willingness to help without being asked, can signal leadership qualities.
    9. Argument Style: How they approach arguments, relying on logic or emotion, provides insight into their communication and problem-solving skills.
    10. Sense of Humor: Understanding their sense of humor can reveal aspects of their personality and what resonates with them.
    11. Tipping Habits: Observe their behavior when tipping at restaurants, as it can reflect their generosity and consideration.
    12. Energy Around Them: Notice how their presence affects your mood. Negative energy may indicate a person who consistently brings negativity into a room.
    13. Musical Taste: Musical preferences often reflect one's personality and character traits.
    14. Interactions with Those They Want Something From: Observe whether they display a different tone or become friendlier when seeking something from others.
    15. Signature Size: A large signature can indicate a person's perception of themselves as important and grandiose.
    16. The Shopping Cart Theory: Returning a shopping cart after use is seen as a test of one's willingness to do the right thing, reflecting their decency and courtesy.
    17. Talking About Friends Behind Their Backs: Gossiping may indicate insecurity and jealousy.
    18. Response to Disappointment: How they react when things don't go their way reveals their true character.
    19. Apology Style: The way they apologize, whether sincere or deflective, speaks volumes about their character.
    20. Adaptability to Changes in Plans: Their reaction to unexpected changes can highlight their flexibility and adaptability.
    21. Neatness and Cleanliness: An organized appearance often suggests a well-organized individual.
    22. Handshake: A firm handshake may indicate confidence, while a soft one may suggest sensitivity.
    23. Response to Peer Pressure: While not necessarily bad, their ability to resist peer pressure can reflect their sense of self and confidence.
    24. Handling Mistakes: Owning up to mistakes and taking responsibility demonstrates maturity and accountability.
    25. Reaction to Others' Mistakes: Their response when others make mistakes reveals their character, whether supportive or critical.
    26. Social Media vs. Real Life: Discrepancies between their online and offline selves may hint at their need for external validation.
    27. Car Maintenance: A well-kept car can provide insight into their overall organization and cleanliness habits.
    28. Interaction with Children: Children often perceive authenticity, making their reactions to a person's behavior a telling sign of character.

  • What is the best relationship advice you learned in life?

    1. Worry less about if they like you, and more about if you like them.
    2. You can't waste your life in insecure relationships. Either trust each other 100% or leave.
    3. Stop choosing what isn't choosing you. If it's not mutual, why pursue it?
    4. You won't have a healthy relationship with someone else, if you have a toxic relationship with yourself.
    5. Would you be friends with this person if you weren't physically attracted to them? Be honest.
    6. If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and move on.
    7. Stop being shocked by repeated behaviour. Notice patterns and believe them.
    8. If someone likes you, you'll know. If they don't, you'll be confused.
    9. Rejection is not as personal as it feels. Liking someone or being liked is more about compatability than inherent worth.
    10. Stop searching for the right person and focus on becoming the right person.
    11. You don't need to be perfect to be loved. Perfection isn't relatable. You can't connect to it.
    12. Your self-love must always be stronger than your desire to be loved by others.
    13. If taking care of yourself means letting someone down, then let someone down.

  • I Had No Idea What Support Looked Like Until He Insisted On Showing Me

    http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache%3Ahttps%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2Fthe-narrative-arc%2Fi-had-no-idea-what-support-looked-like-until-he-insisted-on-showing-me-1d0ca31e3d75&oq=cache%3Ahttps%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2Fthe-narrative-arc%2Fi-had-no-idea-what-support-looked-like-until-he-insisted-on-showing-me-1d0ca31e3d75
    I’ve always prided myself on being an independent person. If I can do something myself, I will. If I have a problem, I can usually figure out the solution. If something scares me, I see it as a challenge to overcome.

    There’s nothing wrong with asking for help, but figuring things out on my own has made me a stronger, more competent person.

    When I got my first full-time job in a distant outpost of marketing, that spirit of independence came with me. I didn’t love that job, far from it. Still, I worked hard and was a high performer.

    About a year in, I made a costly mistake. The details are immaterial. My company supplied assets to marketers and I promised an asset that, as it turned out, I couldn’t deliver. An honest mistake, but the client didn’t see it that way.

    I got creative and came up with an alternative offer of equal value. To this day, I believe my solution was ingenious, but the only thing that matters is that the client disagreed. Loudly.

    By then, the situation was dire and I had to tiptoe to my boss to tell him what was going on. I’ve had my share of bad managers, but Glen wasn’t one of them. He’s a smart, respectful guy. When the owner held a “company-wide” golf tournament and invited only the men (yes, really), he refused to go, on principle.

    Nowadays you can’t get away with an all-male golf tournament during work hours. But this was the 90s, so Glen taking a stand was bold and progressive.

    Glen was understandably unhappy when I shared the news, but his words shocked me. I thought he’d be upset that I accidentally overpromised. Instead, he asked, “Why didn’t you come to me when you realized your mistake?”

    My stomach dropped. The room was too quiet. I looked at him, unable to find words.

    “You came up with your own plan instead of coming to me? You made a bad situation worse and risked an important client relationship. Why would you do that?”

    My eyes went to the floor, humiliated. I immediately felt defensive. Hadn’t I done everything I could?

    I took a breath to regain control. Then I told him the truth as I saw it.

    “It can be hard to talk to you. I know you’re overworked. Sometimes when I come in to say ‘hi’ it’s very apparent you don’t want me in your office.”

    It was a stressful environment and Glen took the brunt of it. Prior to his promotion, he’d been a senior colleague and we’d joked around all the time. Now, if you stepped into his office unannounced, his expression made you regret the day you were born. I wouldn’t go in there for help unless it was DEFCON 1.

    He looked surprised, then thoughtful. He hadn’t considered how his stress impacted others. Finally, he responded.

    “Okay, then. You and I are going to meet each week, Wednesdays at 3:00 pm. We’ll talk through your files. If you have any issues, we’ll discuss them. We’ll keep going until I feel confident that when you have a problem, you’ll bring it to me. How does that sound?”

    Really? Just for one mistake? My mind was going in a million directions. I was mortified, even though he didn’t present it as punishment.

    It didn’t seem fair. I was the problem solver, I knew how to handle myself. I didn’t need a babysitter! But I realized there was no getting out of it and I had to be professional. I agreed, then quickly left to sulk in private.

    Glen and I met each week to go over my files. At first, I kept it high level and presented everything as unicorns and rainbows. I wanted to prove how in control I was so I could put an end to these meetings. He had to ask incisive follow-up questions to get any real information.

    But as the weeks went by, I got more comfortable sharing issues. He had me take the lead on problem-solving but as we walked through my proposed solutions I felt my shoulders sink down in relief. My workload started to feel like a shared responsibility.

    It took me a while to figure out I was being mentored. Far from being a punishment, I started to look forward to talking strategy with Glen. I learned quite a bit and as a result, grew in my role.

    We were months in when, in one of those lightbulb moments, I finally understood Glen’s perspective on the original client issue. The mistake wasn’t the problem, trying to cover it up was. Any one of us can make a mistake, we shouldn’t be blamed for that.

    The problem comes when you don’t share that mistake with those who have a stake in the outcome.

    I grew up with a parent who didn’t make sharing mistakes easy. I was a pretty good kid, but in her eyes, I was guilty until proven innocent at all times. I spent my entire childhood on the defensive against someone who was determined to see me as “bad.”

    When I was 12, she called me from work one day and reamed me out for not doing the chores she’d assigned me, without even checking that I hadn’t done them first (as it turns out, I had).

    Growing up that way taught me mistakes are unacceptable. So I learned — you don’t admit to them. You cover them up or fix them yourself.

    I was that kid everyone described as “so good,” “so quiet,” They’d say things like “I didn’t even realize you were here!”

    In reality, I was just petrified to put a foot wrong.

    I remember as a teen getting so frustrated with this treatment I yelled at her “I’m a good person! Why are you the only one who can’t see that?”

    The day of my client mishap, it never occurred to me to ask for help. That wasn’t who I was — I dealt with everything on my own, like I’d been trained to do. I didn’t know what sharing a load felt like.

    In my weekly meetings with Glen, I slowly realized most people don’t feel that way. Stumbling, having challenges, making mistakes, that’s part of life. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. I had value whether I was acing every test or not.

    The day after my big realization, we had our weekly meeting. Afterward, Glen said, “I think we can cancel next week’s meeting if that’s okay with you.”

    He knew. I’d finally figured it out.

    I’ve had some managers who’ve left irreparable damage. Many managers don’t have the first idea about working with people.

    But on the flip side, Glen taught me two incredibly important lessons about life. Mistakes happen, it’s how you handle them that counts. And even for us independent folk, two heads can (sometimes) be better than one.

September 13, 2023

  • Mathematical mind

    Write a max function without using any conditional statements.

    union FloatUint
    {
    float f;
    uint32_t n;
    };

    float max(float a, float b)
    {
    float t[2] = { a, b };
    FloatUint c;
    c.f = a - b;
    return t[c.u >> 31];
    }

    float max(float a, float b)
    {
    return (a + b) / 2 + abs((a - b) / 2);
    }

    Write a program that takes an input x and returns 1 if x is 2, and 2 if x is 1.

    return 3 – x;
    or
    return x XOR 3;

August 31, 2023

August 14, 2023

July 24, 2023

June 12, 2023

  • What are some ways to make your marriage better?

    For the husband:

    1. Say “I love you” every day.
    2. Have frequent and creative sex.
    3. Women flare. Don’t react.
    4. Men can do without love but not without respect. Be aware of that.
    5. When she wants to go for a walk, go for the damn walk.
    6. Thank her for doing the things you don’t want to do.
    7. Don’t even try being right. She’s never wrong; she just changes her mind.
    8. Let her remodel and decorate the house. It’s a substitute for remodeling you.
    9. Remember the three most important words … “Let’s eat out.”
    10. Change the toilet paper roll. You use it too. And put the seat down.
    11. You’ve seen her job and you don’t want it so show some appreciation.
    12. Never compare her to your mother with her.
    13. Even when you dance, you have to let the other person lead once in a while.
    14. Make dinner occasionally. Don’t assume it’s her job to feed you; she’s not your mother.
    15. Take care of the car for her. That includes gas, oil changes, and car w ashes.
    16. Don’t leave clothes on the floor. Pick up your towels in the bathroom and keep the sink clean after you use it. This isn’t your dorm room and is good practice for prison so you don’t get shanked by your cellmate.
    17. Bring her flowers or leave a love card on her pillow for no reason; not just to apologize. You’ll know why when you do.
    18. Take the trash out without being asked.
    19. Keep your fingernails and toenails neatly trimmed and clean.
    20. Monthly or weekly Date Night.
    21. Do not interfere or be jealous of her spending time with her own friends. Without them she will go crazy and take you with her.
    22. Whatever she does for hobby, flowerbeds, or burnt toast, tell her it is wonderful.
    23. Never go to bed angry. If you can’t resolve something right now just tell her you love her and am willing to talk if she wants.
    24. Sometimes she doesn’t want you to “fix” it. She just wants you to listen to it.